Are You Ready for A Life Makeover?

I have been doing some thinking over the last couple of weeks about the possibility of a life makeover. No, not just a physical makeover, even though that's part of it. But a real makeover. The kind of makeover that replaces the current state of my life with a new state. A makeover from the inside out. The kind of makeover that replenishes the soul and rejuvenates the spirit. How many of you are ready for a Life Makeover?

In taking stock of the current situation that we find ourselves in as black women, I have come to the conclusion that many of us are in desperate need of a life makeover. I know I am. I am tired of my life being the way it is. There are many things that I would change. I need to rejuvenate my social life, which seems to have died over the last couple of years. The last date I went on was almost 2 years ago. When I'm not at school or work, I am at home. I also need to change my physical appearance. My weight has become an important issue in my life. I need to loose weight not only for my health but also for cosmetic reasons. How many of you have things in your life that you would like to change? How many of you are ready for a life makeover?

Many of us are holding onto people and situations that have become like dead weight around our necks, choking the life out of us. I have talked time and time again about the need of black women to get rid of the blood suckers and leeches in our lives. Reciprocity rules! Any grown adult, be they family, friends, or significant others, who is not bringing something to the table and always has their hands out needs to be cut off. Remember that as a free-thinking adult woman, you are not required to keep anyone in your life if you don't want to. Once I realized that, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Only children don't have a choice. So use your ability to choose and get rid of the dead weight. Your health, happiness, peace of mind, and maybe even your life depends on it.

How many of you need to renew your spirits? When I say renew the spirit I mean not only in terms of prayer and meditation but also in terms of generating a sense of inner peace and happiness. How many of you are truly happy? Many of us are hiding our pain behind a facade of fake confidence and a smile. Many of us are dealing with childhood hurt and bitterness from failed relationships. Many of us have been raped and sexually molested, both as children and as adults. Some sisters deal with the pain by over-eating or engage in other unhealthy behaviors such as drug use or promiscuity. Some of us adopt a "superwoman" persona in order to deal with our insecurities. And some of us choose not to deal with the pain at all. People who are bitter and angry cannot live their lives to the fullest. People who have not dealt with past hurt cannot move forward into a new phase of their lives. They are stuck in the past. Living life to the fullest and being open to the unlimited possibilities that life has to offer involves living in the present and looking into the future. It involves leaving the pain from the past behind, only taking with you the lessons you learned. Are you ready to put the pain from the past behind you and make your life over again?

I will be discussing my life make over in over the next few months with regular posts and updates. What do you want to change? How will you make your life over?

R.I.P. Michael Jackson: Reflections on a Life Remembered

The first memory that I have of hearing a Michael Jackson song is when Thriller came out. I was 4 years old. My favorite song from that album was Beat It. It continues to be one of my all-time favorite songs. It should surprise no one that the general consensus among the people of the world with regard to Michael Jackson's death is one of shock and grief. For, despite his idiosyncrasies and what some consider bizarre behavior, he remains an icon in death just as he was in life. I remember when Thriller came out and everyone was trying to moonwalk. I remember when everyone was trying to get a red leather jacket because Michael wore one and it looked so cool. I remember the silver glove. I remember when Michael Jackson was a star.





Every time I hear a Michael Jackson song I can remember a different time in my childhood. An 80's baby, songs from Thriller and Bad acted as a sound tract for my life. I was not only transfixed by his music; I was also transfixed by the saga of his upbringing, which in many ways mirrored my own. I started reading books about the Jackson family at around 5th grade. I learned that like mine, Michael's father was abusive and terrorized his children. He drove them hard as my father drove us. He, like me, was shaped and molded by these traumatic childhood experiences. Many people who were lucky not to grow up in these conditions underestimate the effect that abuse has on the social, psychological, and emotional development of a child. Michael Jackson's life and legacy should be a testament to the fact that our childhood experiences and the failures of our parents to love, nurture, protect, and provide certainly can have a crippling effect on us as adults- sometimes forever. From all accounts, Michael was a better father to his children than his father was to him, as I hope to one day be a better parent to my children than my parents were to me. The cycle will not be repeated.




Rest in Peace, Michael. The world has been changed for the better because you were in it. In spite of his troubles (the child molestation allegations, media scrutiny, and family turmoil), what most people seem to remember about Michael Jackson is his music, incredible talent, and overwhelmingly generous spirit. It is on his shoulders that every modern pop star stands. His legacy will endure forever.

Attacked By Acid: 3 Years Later Crime Still Unsolved

Acid has a catastrophic effect on human flesh. It melts the skin, tissue, and sometimes even eats through bone. It often causes partial or whole blindness. Acid attacks occur when a person intentionally throws acid, usually, sulfuric or nitric, on a victim. Acid violence is common is the countries of Southern Asia such as Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, and Cambodia, so much so that there have been massive efforts on the part of missionary and women's rights groups to stop the crime and get treatment for victims. Acid throwing is not a huge problem in the U.S. (praise God) mainly because acid is not readily and cheaply available over the counter like it is in many Southeast Asian countries. Acid violence mainly affects women, as we are the primary victims. Most Southern Asian women are attacked because of jealousy, revenge, or domestic violence. Though acid violence is not common in the U.S., there have been a few isolated incidents. I will discuss one such incident below.

On the night of August 26, 2006 at about 12 a.m., 22 -year-old Gabrielle White was walking home from her job when she sensed someone approach from behind. She turned around to see a man with a disheveled Afro and a dazed, spaced out look on his face. In a split second, he threw a pitcher of alkaline acid on Gabrielle, leaving her with third and fourth degree burns on her face, neck, and arms. Gabrielle, a beautiful single mother with her whole future ahead of her, was left blind and horribly disfigured. See Picture below...

It's been almost three years since this horrific crime happened. The last reports I could find of Gabrielle were in 2007, about a year after the attack. I didn't find a report about the crime being solved, so I assume it has not been. So, why write a post about this crime? I was just doing research about acid attacks on South Asian women and I came across this report. I am not from Detroit and this crime never garnered national attention so I never heard of it. I was horrified by this story. To me, it shows how fragile life can be and how everything can change in the blink of an eye. This blog is dedicated to improving the lives of black women. Well, this is one sista who I'm sure still needs help. Everyone knows how short people's memories can be and Gabrielle and the horrific crime that befell her is probably a distant memory. So, I sent her a small donation. I felt so helpless after I heard about this story and I had to do something. Those who would like to send her a donation can do so at the following address:

Gabrielle White
P.O. Box 15008
Detroit, MI 48215


I am sorry that I have been away from the blog for awhile. Been real busy with school and with life. But I will get back to regular posting soon.



More After Pictures

Food for Thought

I have been away from the blog for a minute but here is a video that I saw on YouTube. I don't agree with everything Minister Louis Farrakhan says but no one can deny the power and truth behind these words. Comments, as always, are welcome.

The Silence of Many

I am sad to have to write that yet another black child has been senselessly beaten to death at the hands of her mother's boyfriend. Get the full story here and here. Apparently, this deranged 18 year-old manchild Tayuan Chism felt that 14 month old Liliana Goodman was disrespectful to him. And to make the situation worse, there were other adults present in the house while the beating was taking place. INCLUDING THE MOTHER. Supposedly, the mother tried to intervene but was injured. When are these women gonna understand that it is just not safe to bring any and every "Tom, Dick, and Harry" in their houses around their children. When is this going to stop? I have heard of children being burned, raped, beaten, and tortured at the hands of boyfriends and/or male acquaintances.

I can't believe that people actually sat around while this was taking place and did nothing. Considering the fact that Negroes are known to call 911 for stupid shit like Church's running out of chicken or McDonald's running out of Chicken McNuggets, I think somebody could've picked up the phone to call 911 to save this poor defenseless baby from impending death. And personally, I think that the mother ought to be held legally responsible for her child's death as well as the man who killed her. Some will probably think that this is harsh, but the first job of any mother is to protect her offspring from harm, even if that means sacrificing her life. I think that if law enforcement starts holding mothers legally responsible when their children are murdered by boyfriends, I think this may cause a mother to think twice before leaving her children in the hands of random men that she thinks she knows, but obviously doesn't.

May the soul of little Liliana Goodman rest in peace. May her murderers, both the one who actually did the beating as well as those who watched in silence, be haunted by her memory and their guilt. May they gets what's coming to them. Thanks to Gina of whataboutourdaughters.com for the head's up about this story.